so blessed

Sometimes I have to take a step back and think about how truly BLESSED I feel. Before last year, I felt like everything in my life was going wrong and I had no idea what I was going to do about it and stop it. But starting college last year was the BEST things that ever happened to me because I got to put everything of high school and all the bad memories behind me. And now I'm doing something that I love. Sure, I have to take classes that I don't like but I like school..I like being useful and I like working. Like I have two jobs: during the school year I work at this office at my school and the people I've met there are wonderful and they make me smile and laugh, and NEVER put me down. And the other job I have is working at a newspaper sports department. Who can say that they're doing that at 19. Sure, I feel stressed some days when I'm put on the spot but I feel SO blessed. I've spent many years..yes, my life is short I know, working hard at school and whatnot and I never thought it would pay off but to me it has. Like I have to remind myself how blessed I am because there are people who work hard and get nothing in return.

Sometimes I have to pinch myself and remind myself that I am truly blessed. Carolyn Hennesy is a big part of this<3 This is my IDOL. I can't even begin to explain what she means to me. She's been on GH for almost 5 YEARS for a role that was supposed to be 3 DAYS. That says something because the producers liked her. When I started watching her, I would giggle because she was so tough on the show and I loved her. Then she started doing interviews and all the stuff she said (continues to say) has touched me. I remember watching one of her interviews in which she said "I want nothing to do with anyone that doesn't want anything to do with me because of the way I look." When I heard this, I was in high school and I just remember sobbing. And in 2008, I finally met her. It truly was the happiest day of my life. She knew who I was, made me get up and hug her and she sat beside me. And at the end, she grabbed both my hands and told me how much it meant to her that I came. And since then, I've seen her six times. And whenever I see her, it makes my heart so happy.

This year, we got even closer and it makes my heart so happy. A lot of people don't like Carolyn because she speaks her mind but you know what, it's her opinion she can say WHATEVER SHE WANTS. If you don't like her, that's your problem. Most likely she doesn't like you anyway. But in the last year, people have been hateful and whenever this happens, we email and we're always talking. But this year, I was SO hesitant about going to GH weekend but I went because of Carolyn. And this year, by the time I was seeing her on Saturday, I was so worked up. I was absolutely disgusted with people and just wanted to go home. And I remember that morning we were chatting and I could breathe easier because of her. But the thing that I will remember for the rest of my life is the personal time I got to spend with her where she was asking me about Boston and about school. And I told her how I'm studying law and her friends and here were asking me what type of law. WHO TAKES THE TIME TO DO THAT?

And it's hysterical because Carolyn is SUCH a good judge of character and she knows people who aren't worth it. I had myself worked up for no reason because these people don't matter and I'm thankful I'm NOTHING like them. And Carolyn is true to who she is and she doesn't have to put on a fake show to draw attention to herself. She's special just the way she is and has the biggest heart of anyone I've ever met.<3