Where to start....hmm. I wrote a Facebook post earlier tonight about existence but I ended up deleting it because I figured I'd just write more about it here. I think as people we wish our existence would be enough for people, that knowing our existence is present would actually matter but truth be told, it doesn't. People can pretend that it does but it totally doesn't. Our existence only matters to us and it only matters to people when it's convenient. Funny how that works.
The other thing is about opportunities. Opportunities are present to people to do what they will with them and if they miss out on them, that's on them. That one is kinda like karma for me. Give it some time and they'll realize what they missed out on. They may realize it a few hours from that point, but most likely a few days and at that point, it'll simply be a missed opportunity. What truly gets me though is people ask me something, I give them an opportunity and they don't take it. But that's okay. That's perfectly fine actually.
What if your heart was full of love, could you give it up....
There's some quote I came across on Tumblr a few weeks ago about how if you think everyone has the same heart as you, you'll be disappointed. This has come to fruition in many aspects of my life. By nature, I just have a good heart. At this point, I wish I didn't. I'm that person who people know they can call at 10pm or 3am. I'm also that person who is constantly making time for people. And it's not that I get upset when that isn't reciprocated, it's more like a defeat, a disappointment, to be honest.
One of my funniest yet most genuine friends wrote an essay a few months and the tag line was actions speak louder than what we say. Ever since I heard it, that's the line I use when people say stuff to me. Sure, you can tell me I'm your best friend, that I'm so important, and all other compliments that I would normally love to hear but when push comes to shove and you can't be bothered to demonstrate that through your actions, then what is the point really.
And that was the moment I knew.
I guess it goes back to our own existence. Our existence doesn't matter to anyone else, despite us hoping it would be and despite the words of others. And maybe our existence is important to someone, someone out there, and they haven't realized it yet. And maybe they never will. It's kind of one of those things that I ponder.
Come on skinny love, just last the year. We were never here.
But despite all those not so great feelings I'm feeling atm, I know those will pass. I know come tomorrow or the day after, they won't matter as much as they do now. But I think more than all that,t he worst feeling is fear. There was this quote on tumblr about how the worst goodbye is knowing you won't say hello again and I think that's something that just eats at my soul. I've known people who were important to me once and I never thought I'd lose that. But I did. And I don't know what I'm trying to say here, I just know that it spoke to me.
Anyway, now that I've rambled on far too long. I'm going to post some cute things/things that speak to me at the moment.
There's no picture for it but I love fairs this time of year. Everything is just super pretty.
So yeah, a little bit of my random late night thoughts and things I like.
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