Friendship...Life..Letting Go..

There's some saying about in your twenties how you realize who your true friends are. Those who value you and your friendship will remain and those who don't will leave. You know those movies where a train goes in slow motion before any sort of impact? That is what this feels like. You cannot stop said action. It is in progress. You just have to let it happen. And as much as you would like to stop such a disaster, you can't...it's out of your hands.

Friendship is a weird thing. In high school, you know that friendships won't last forever because people move on, people change and people do different things with their lives so it's only human that you'll fall out of touch. I always thought that after that point, those friends were the true ones. Even though life situations may have changed, they haven't. But I've come to realize that people you thought would never change do.

I've always wondered how seemingly good people could change in an instant? Is it because they just haven't matured? Is it because of their circles of friends? Or is it just because they're wishy washy. I've contemplated this for years and I'm still no closer to figuring it out. Maybe it's one of those questions for the ages.

But despite all of that, you know what's worse? I think the worst is knowing the place you're in with said person. You can't do anything to change it. You can feel it ending and there's nothing you can really do about it. You kind of just have to let it go.

Life has a way of being pretty ironic. Back in high school while everyone was testing out relationships for the first time, I watched it happen. And all the drama that surrounded it. I watched friends stop being friends over a SO. It's nothing I had to worry about until recently. But what makes me mad is the fact I'm doing such a good thing for someone, because it's important to them, yet I'll bet money on the fact that I'll be left to fend for myself amongst obnoxious, inappropriate and offensive people. This would have never been the case years ago. Never.

My biggest and worst character flaw would probably have to be that I care entirely too much about the feelings of others. And even if I have the right to be mad about a particular situation, if someone else is upset, that's more of a priority than how I'm feeling. It bothers me that more often than not, I care too much and other people don't. I've always thought I was a really good judge of character. I always thought I could read if people were truly being sincere. But obviously my radar on that is off.