OKAY. She kills me. She is so cute & perfect. My hero<3 I hope to see her soon. She's just so amazing all the time. My goodness.


Carolyn Hennesy on WhoSay

rest in peace carole

I've never liked funerals, but then again no one does. I haven't been to a funeral in a few years now and today I was. A program I was involved in during high school was run by this woman and she also put me in contact with my current job. And while we weren't incredibly close, she was a teacher in which I learned so much, today was very emotional. It was a combination of the church music but also reflecting on such a great life lost.

Carole gave all of herself to everything she did and she made lives better. She made me a better person, a stronger one. She had a hand in helping me break out of my shell and I just feel so privileged to have known her. She loved completely and gave so much to so many people.

I can remember driving in the car with her and my grandmother on the way to a banquet and Carole was driving. She was driving so fast that she was giving us all anxiety. And driving home from the memorial service today, my grandmother and I talked about. Carole had so much spirit and even as she got sick over the last two years, she was still so lively and still gave so much.

I will never forget all that she has done for me, all that she has given me but mainly the person I became for knowing her. My heart is forever touched.

It also makes me look at my life and realize how blessed I am. Sometimes we take life for granted, I know I do, but I feel so blessed for my friends and family. So many people have such a special place in my heart and they always will.

blessed

have you ever been touched so gently you had to cry?<3

there are three people who have come into my life the last few years who have touched my heart in the greatest way. and no matter where life takes us, no matter where the road may lead, I know I have found a true friendship in each of these women. And each day when I think about how much they mean to me, how much they touch my heart and how much they have made me a better person, I truly feel blessed.

carolyn, jill and tams<3

7.24.11

have you ever held your breath and asked yourself will it get better than tonight? <3

a night I will always remember for the rest of my life.

some days I feel so stressed and like everything is such an epic fail. but when I watch this video I always feel so much better about myself<3 this is one of the videos that made me admire Carolyn so much. "I don't want anything to do with anyone who wants nothing to do with me because of the way I look"

crazy week

Whew. It's been a crazy couple of weeks emotionally. The last few weeks have been harder, though. Let me break it down:

I'm a sophomore a private college and tuition is like $30,000 a year (commuting). It's all covered by scholarships for the most part and a couple of loans here and there. Last year, I lived on campus and it was great. The school is a commuter school for the most part, so it doesn't exactly have a real campus. Anyway, it was great last year. But living there plus tuition is like 42,000 a year. So this year, I didn't want to take out loans so I decided to live at home. Three words: HELL ON EARTH. Seriously! So I made the mistake of taking an 8am class on MWF. Not my smartest moment at all. And so I'm up at 6:20, out of the house by 7. And like lately I've been feeling that it's such a waste. If I'm commuting every day and super miserable, then there's no point. So towards the end of last year, I was looking at universities to transfer to but nothing ever came of it. So the last few weeks, I've been searching high and low for a university around here.

Because I was literally lose it if I have stay at this school, living at home until next Fall. And it wouldn't be so bad if everyone at home left me alone, but they don't. I'm all for helping out my sibling but I'm not here to please them. I have two jobs, volunteer and go to class. And I have homework so I don't have time to make my world go around them. And it's really frustrating for me because my grandparents are so religious. Like the type who go to Church every Sunday without fail. And I was raised Christian, going to religious ed every week and Church. But now, I've hit a point where I'm not sure what I believe. And they don't get that. They think I should believe what they believe and they think I should go to church with them. But my idea is: why go to something I'm not even sure I believe in.

So there's the back story. So last week, I got my acceptance letter for Bridgewater. It's a public university about 30 minutes from here. I've literally been waiting for the acceptance for three weeks. And I don't talk about it with my grandmother because she doesn't want me to go or whatever. And it's so infuriating because she doesn't help pay for my tuition bills or another. I do that all on my own with my two jobs. And despite what she thinks, it's stressful. So I didn't even tell her how I applied there, or how I already told my current university, I'm not coming back for the spring. And the odd part is that the rest of my family is supportive. They want me to be in a place where I'm happy and thriving and working to get my degree. So I'm able to talk about it with my 2 aunts, my mom, my uncle and his wife. And on Saturday, I went to visit my two cousins and my uncle and his wife was asking about school and what's going on. And I can actually tell them.

And then even though my grandmother doesn't want me to go, she has been hounding about visiting. She wanted to go on Sunday but I was like, that's my only "me day" so I was going to ask her about today, and then she got into attitude so I was like whatever. And then last night she was mad about how everyone else knows about me going to this new university but it's like, they don't complain. They listen and accept my choice.

And like although it is a public university, it is known for education ( my major), and to live there plus tuition is HALF of what the private one is.

It's just been super frustrating and I can't wait for January<3

DERK AND MY HERO. DEAD.

DEAD. JUST SO DEAD. DERK TALKING ABOUT MY CAROLYN<3 IM SO DEAD.

three years ago today.

((Okay, so since it's October 1st on the east coast, the first Saturday of October, I'm putting this up because there is so much I want to say))

Three years ago tonight I met my idol<3 10.4.2008. And yes, I know it's not the 4th but it was the first Saturday in October. The way everything fell into place on the weeks leading up to the date I'll never forget was so special. So tons of GH stars were coming to Boston: Bradford, Brandon, Sebastian Roche & others. I was going to see B.B and B.A because this was technically my first GH event. I hadn't planned to see Sebastian but a few weeks before the events, Sebastian had to back out and I remember reading the email from Debby OConnor saying that Carolyn was filling in. LIKE words cannot express what this meant. I was junior in high school, just struggling through school. And I was only 16 so I couldn't go to FCW and meet her and stuff. And I was so worried that I'd never be able to meet her. Carolyn had been someone I admired because of what she had said in interviews and plus I loved her on GH. And like she kinda knew who I was because we had chatted on her message board and stuff (at this time, the people who ran her site still were active). So the night finally came and I will never never forget it.

So before her event started, I went to leave the room for a second and as I opened the door, there she was. I nearly died. I was like "oh my gosh Carolyn." And one of the people who works for Debby was like, you don't want to miss Carolyn's entrance. So then there was Q&A and then she went around to tables. We were last so we could get time with her. And I was such a hot mess. So someone (I don't even remember who now) was like this is Erika. And Carolyn was all like "get up right now.." and she made me hug her. And all I remember is her sitting next to me and asking me how I liked her books and it was amazing.

NEVER did I think three years later, I'd still be talking to her. As annoying as some parts were of my trip to L.A this summer was, seeing my idol and talking with her about everything made it all worth it. Like I've seen a lot of people call their idols their BFF and whatever but I can't do that. Like we're on different levels completely but I know that Carolyn has become such a friend and I almost have to pinch myself to make sure it's real.

I feel completely blessed, especially today, and everything that I've had to put up with is truly worth it.

picture challenge: day thirty

day 20: a picture of your favorite quote

THIS. It sums up everything I believe in and feel.

I think one of my favorite lines in this is "life is about the people you meet."

I have met some amazing people & they will be my life long friends. They've stood by me when I needed them and to put it more simply, they have changed my life.

picture challenge: day twenty nine

day twenty nine: a picture that makes you smile.

HI BFF! hahaha. This one was so hard for me but I picked this one. It was from GH weekend and this was one of my favorite days from the whole weekend. It was at the Luncheon & when Carolyn was on stage, she pointed to me. And like they moved her around the Luncheon room and when I finally got to her, she asked me how I was and she hugged me. And like, this picture is so cute. I just adore her so much<3

picture challenge: day twenty eight.

day twenty eight: a picture of your favorite place in the entire world.

this one was going to be a tie between my hometown of Boston and this, LA.

But I chose LA for this one. I have so many memories here 99.9% of them good. LA will always have a special place in my heart because some of the best things that have happened to me have happened here<3

picture challenge: day twenty seven

day twenty seven: a picture of your favorite night.

THIS RIGHT HERE.

OCTOBER 4 2008.

To date it is one of the happiest days of my life. I got to meet my hero<3

It's still unreal that I met her three years ago in October (like we've been talking for five..um, since the beginning of her start of GH).

Hero<3 I can't.

She's just too cute. I can't.

Carolyn Hennesy on WhoSay

picture challenge: day twenty six

day 26: a picture of something that means a lot to you.

my dreams.<3

we may not have the same dreams but they're mine and that's what counts.

picture challenge: day twenty five

day twenty five: a picture of you from this year.

kim and me!

one of my favorite days from this year

at the grove and LA for Carolyn's book signing.

4.10.11

daily challenge for september 16th.

she's just TOO cute for words.

Carolyn Hennesy on WhoSay

picture challenge: day twenty four

day twenty four: a picture of someone you miss

my pa<3

picture challenge: day twenty three

day twenty three: a picture of your favorite book.

19 minutes<3

so gut wrenching and sad.

makes me feel so bad for anyone who is treated harshly at school.

no one deserves that.

Picture Challenge: day twenty-two

day twenty-two: a picture of something you never leave the house without.

iphone<3

I don't go anywhere without it. I love it because all my favorite songs are on it so wherever I'm going, I just listen to my songs. And I like bringing it to keep updated with emails and stuff. But also I text my best friend every single day faithfully and we talk throughout the day. And I couldnt imagine not talking to her during the day.

day twenty: a picture of something you wish you could forget.

expectations.

I hate them.

Like we're expected to be a good friend yet when we need one in return, they're not there.

I'm so tired of the expectations people put on me because it's like they're waiting for me to screw up somehow.

picture challenge: day twenty

day twenty: a picture of a place you'd love to travel.

houston<3

like one of my best friends lives near here and plus I've always wanted to visit.

and I just love going to major cities for some reason. I like being a tourist and seeing touristy attractions.

picture challenge: day nineteen

day nineteen: a picture of something you love to do.

travel<3

I just like going to do different places and being a tourist...seeing all the different sights and monuments.

picture challenge: day eighteen

day eighteen: a picture of the sexiest person alive

Since this was odd one, I think the way a person can be most attractive is to be themselves without trying to fake being someone that their not. Being true blue is something to be treasured, even if you lose people in the process. Because if you're honest to yourself, that's all that really matters.

picture challenge: day seventeen

day seventeen: someone who has had a huge impact on your life recently.

scott reeves<3

SO like I met him back in July for the first time and I was just dying. Like when he sang Jessie's girl, I was freaking out. Like I was so excited to see Port Chuck in July, and the night I saw them, I was having a bad night but when they came out for Jessie's girl, I was DYING. And like when I heard Scott sing Hallelujah on GH I died. It's one of my favorite songs and he sings it so well. And he's very devoted to his faith and he is always so positive and it is something to be admired...it is something I admire.

And then when they came to Boston, I was SO excited. Like I couldn't wait.And when Scott got to me, I was so nervous but so excited.And he gave me the biggest hug and I told him who I was on twitter & stuff and he was like, he knew who I was and he'd look for my tweets on twitter. it was amazing<3

8.26.11 best day ever.

CAN WE KINDA DIE OVER THIS PICTURE?!?! LIKE oh my gosh, I was dying. When Port Chuck came here on Friday, I did the Platinum which was kinda expensive but TOTALLY WORTH IT. Like the last time I saw Port Chuck, it was bad for me. Like they were amazing but stuff around me was making me anxious so I couldn't 100% enjoy myself. But this time, it was amazing. When Scott came to my table, I told him who I was and that I ran Carolyn's twitter and told him my personal twitter name too and he gave me the biggest hug. I was just SO happy. And like he's become an inspiration for me. Like he's really religious and hearing him be so positive is super inspiring for me. Because like I struggle with my religion a lot, and what I believe. And so hearing him love his faith so much and being positive, it really helps. And before he left my table, he was telling me that he'd see me on twitter. I was just so happy that day, it truly made my entire month. And it made up for my bad experience of last month<3

picture challenge: day 16

day sixteen: a picture of someone who inspires you.

carolyn<3

I know I talk about her all the time but she really is my hero and she inspires me every single day. Like her daily challenge are so important. Some of them are about self confidence which I struggle with every day. Like I always feel there is always going to be someone better, prettier or smarter than I am. Some days I don't struggle with it as much but some days are really hard. And like her daily challenges make me want to be a better person. Sometimes it's easy to judge someone but we don't really know them. And if we don't like someone, we just have to take a deep breath and walk away although there are some things we want to say. But being rude helps no one, and even if we think it's going to make us feel better in that moment, it really doesn't.

I think the most inspiring thing Carolyn has ever said is "I don't want anything to do with anyone who doesn't want anything to do with me because of the way I look." When I heard this, I hadn't met Carolyn yet and I was having a really hard time in high school and hearing this made me feel better about everything. And even now, like I'm not around those high school people anymore, there are people who make me feel so crappy about myself and I just have to remember I don't want anything to do with them and I don't want to be associated with them.

port chuck

8.26.11.

I cannot wait for tonight<3

As much fun as last time was, I didn't really enjoy myself but tonight I totally will and I am just SO excited to see Scott.

picture challenge: day fifteen

day fifteen: a picture of something you want to do before you die

trapeze flying.

I am SO scared of height, like I get plane anxiety the majority of the time before I fly. But I really want to get over my fear of flying and this is the one thing I want to do before I die.

daily challenge for august 25th

she is the absolute cutest. i can't even deal with her<3

Carolyn Hennesy on WhoSay

picture challenge: day fourteen

day fourteen: a picture of your favorite store

bath and body works<3

I just love all the different lotions.

Thoughts....

I know I've been way behind on my picture challenge..I'll catch up, I swear. I actually like doing it a lot. But lately I've been thinking a lot about life and the people in my own life. So I'm just going to number a few important thoughts I've had.

1. I've come to the realization that I can't stand people younger than me or the same age (with a few exceptions). One of my closest friends is my age, she's from high school and we're still close. And I adore some of my high school friends who now go to my college but for the most part, I really dislike younger people or people of my age. I don't know, I guess it's because I had to grow up very fast so I didn't have time to be immature like the people who are younger than I am. And it's funny because one of my best and dearest friends is like a mom to me. I've known her for a few years and I absolutely adore her. We talk every single day and the inside jokes between us are hysterical. And we can never stay mad at each other..we talk all the time and she truly is one of my best friends.

2. Then there are people who are older than me yet I feel so much older than them..probably because they have the maturity of a 10 year old. I'm sorry, I don't have to scream for people to notice me. I don't have to be a total bitch either for people to like me. I'm just me.

3. For a long time, I didn't like talking about myself, who I am, what I like with people..afraid of them thinking it was stupid. I've learned that if I'm afraid to share that information with someone, it's not someone I can trust. There are people in my life that I can share things with, and maybe they don't understand it but they don't judge me for the things I like or for the person I am.

<3

picture challenge: day thirteen

day thirteen: a picture of your favorite band

sugarland<3

love them.

august 22nd daily challenge

you know, just the whole inspiring daily challenge thing.

Carolyn Hennesy on WhoSay

picture challenge: day tweleve

day twelve: a picture of something you love

true friendship<3

I've gotten to the point where I'm done trying to make people happy and impress people. I don't have to impress people for them to like me. For those who matter, I can just be myself. And it doesn't even affect me that there are people who don't like me because the truth is, if they don't like me I certainly don't like them. I surround myself with people who make me happy and who I make happy in return, anyone else is an afterthought.

daily challenge august 21st.

amazing<3

Carolyn Hennesy on WhoSay

picture challenge: day eleven

day eleven: a picture of something you hate

haters.

I hate how people feel the need to talk about me yet there is no truth to what they say. They don't know me and they never did. I'm sorry if I don't party and waste my life away. I'd actually like to have my liver when I'm 30. AND you think you know the people I support, wrong again. Believe me, they don't like you either. You're just people that I'm glad I'm nothing like. Oh and I love how you trash talk your so called group of friends yet you act like you're bff with them. FUNNY.

I'm happy with my life and I don't have to pretend to be anyone I'm not. If you don't like it, that's really too bad. And if you want to hate me for who I am, who I support and what I represent..be my guest.

"They don't hate us...they don't know us. They hate what we represent which is everything they're not. They hate themselves." <3

my breaking dimax heart

Sooo....for those who follow me on twitter, I've been talking about the Diane & Max breakup. :( They've broken up in the past and I'm PRAYING that this is a temporary breakup. All the other couples on GH are played by CONTRACT actors but this COUPLE RIGHT HERE both Carolyn and Derk aren't on contract and still make this couple absolutely wonderful. Here's to hoping the breakup is VERY short lived and GH will come to to their senses and reunite Diane & Max<3

daily challenge for august 19th.

another daily challenge that I just love because it's difficult for me to take compliments so I am going to try very hard today. <3

Carolyn Hennesy on WhoSay

picture challenge: day ten

day ten: a picture of the person you do the most messed up things with.

anna

she's one of my best friends and I known her for five plus years- it's funny because we can go through some time without talking because life and classes seem to get in the way but we pick up right where we left off. <3

daily challenge for august 18th

I like this daily challenge a lot because sometimes I feel like getting mouthy with people who deserve it but today I am going to remember not to engage. :)

Carolyn Hennesy on WhoSay

swiffer commercial

hero is in newest swiffer commercial. you know, just being her talented self. <3

picture challenge: day nine

day nine: a picture of a person who's gotten you through the most

aunties. jan & sue

they've gotten me through absolutely everything. LOVE them both SO very much<3

inspiration

this is why I absolutely adore her & she's my idol<3

touching gh moment.

Usually I don't cry (or sob..whatever you want to call it) during shows, especially not during GH. The only time I really do that is during sad scenes, like death or what not. But today I just balled. CH is my idol and she means the world to me and her acting is ALWAYS FABULOUS. But today when she got teary, I just couldn't help myself. When she said "I think we have one person, at one time, and we learn and we love and we leave," I just completely lost it. My entire life I've been used to everyone leaving because it happens, it's a fact of life. And right now my life is going amazingly well. I feel happy with who I am and the people in my life. The people in my life are people I will always cherish and they mean the absolute world to me but sometimes I can't help but think that they will leave. This really hit home for me and hearing my hero say it, it just made it that much more special for me.

daily challenge for august 17th.

you know, just hero doing her daily challenge.

Carolyn Hennesy on WhoSay

picture challenge: day eight.

day eight: a picture of your most treasured item

laptop.

two of my closest friends are people I talk to online every single day. and it keeps me connected with everyone I need to be. and I get to keep in contact with my hero either through email or twitter<3

so blessed

Sometimes I have to take a step back and think about how truly BLESSED I feel. Before last year, I felt like everything in my life was going wrong and I had no idea what I was going to do about it and stop it. But starting college last year was the BEST things that ever happened to me because I got to put everything of high school and all the bad memories behind me. And now I'm doing something that I love. Sure, I have to take classes that I don't like but I like school..I like being useful and I like working. Like I have two jobs: during the school year I work at this office at my school and the people I've met there are wonderful and they make me smile and laugh, and NEVER put me down. And the other job I have is working at a newspaper sports department. Who can say that they're doing that at 19. Sure, I feel stressed some days when I'm put on the spot but I feel SO blessed. I've spent many years..yes, my life is short I know, working hard at school and whatnot and I never thought it would pay off but to me it has. Like I have to remind myself how blessed I am because there are people who work hard and get nothing in return.

Sometimes I have to pinch myself and remind myself that I am truly blessed. Carolyn Hennesy is a big part of this<3 This is my IDOL. I can't even begin to explain what she means to me. She's been on GH for almost 5 YEARS for a role that was supposed to be 3 DAYS. That says something because the producers liked her. When I started watching her, I would giggle because she was so tough on the show and I loved her. Then she started doing interviews and all the stuff she said (continues to say) has touched me. I remember watching one of her interviews in which she said "I want nothing to do with anyone that doesn't want anything to do with me because of the way I look." When I heard this, I was in high school and I just remember sobbing. And in 2008, I finally met her. It truly was the happiest day of my life. She knew who I was, made me get up and hug her and she sat beside me. And at the end, she grabbed both my hands and told me how much it meant to her that I came. And since then, I've seen her six times. And whenever I see her, it makes my heart so happy.

This year, we got even closer and it makes my heart so happy. A lot of people don't like Carolyn because she speaks her mind but you know what, it's her opinion she can say WHATEVER SHE WANTS. If you don't like her, that's your problem. Most likely she doesn't like you anyway. But in the last year, people have been hateful and whenever this happens, we email and we're always talking. But this year, I was SO hesitant about going to GH weekend but I went because of Carolyn. And this year, by the time I was seeing her on Saturday, I was so worked up. I was absolutely disgusted with people and just wanted to go home. And I remember that morning we were chatting and I could breathe easier because of her. But the thing that I will remember for the rest of my life is the personal time I got to spend with her where she was asking me about Boston and about school. And I told her how I'm studying law and her friends and here were asking me what type of law. WHO TAKES THE TIME TO DO THAT?

And it's hysterical because Carolyn is SUCH a good judge of character and she knows people who aren't worth it. I had myself worked up for no reason because these people don't matter and I'm thankful I'm NOTHING like them. And Carolyn is true to who she is and she doesn't have to put on a fake show to draw attention to herself. She's special just the way she is and has the biggest heart of anyone I've ever met.<3

daily challenge for august 16th.

Carolyn Hennesy on WhoSay

picture challenge: day seven.

Day seven: a picture with someone who makes you laugh the most

brother.

sometimes he annoys me to no possible end but he makes me laugh a lot of the time and it's usually over the most random things.

picture challenge: day six

day six: a picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day

Jennifer from Sugarland. <3

Love her voice and her songs are out of this world.

daily challenge for august 14th.

daily challenge<3

Carolyn Hennesy on WhoSay

picture challenge: day five

day five: a picture of your favorite memory.

october 4, 2008

this memory is my favorite and absolute best.

I met Carolyn for the first time and I could have died on that day a happy girl. I remember that day as if it was yesterday. I remember her coming into Bradford's event early in the day and I almost couldn't breathe. I was just 'omg, there she is.' At the time, I just loved Carolyn and we talked on her message board and stuff. SO I just couldn't wait to meet her. And so that night at her event, I thought I had time to leave the event room for a second but as I opened the door Carolyn and Angela (who works for Debby O) was on the other side. All I can remember saying is "oh my god, carolyn." haha. And so the Q&A was epic..she is so funny. I remember when she got to my table, I was shaking and everything. And one of the girls I was with was like "Carolyn, this is Erika." And she was like "get up right now.." and she hugged me. Then she sat next to me and I was just so giddy. This day was almost three years ago now and thinking about it makes me so happy. Over the years, I've gotten closer with Carolyn and she makes my heart smile ALL THE TIME. She is so very inspirational and I am blessed to have her in my life.

daily challenge for august 13th

she just kills me. i can't deal with her perfectness. hero<3

Carolyn Hennesy on WhoSay

picture challenge: day four

day four: a picture of you and a family member.

my godmother & I

she's been in my life since I was a baby and I trust her with everything. She's always there when I need a talk and the number of inside things we have between us is priceless.

daily challenge for august 12th

you know, just my idol being inspirational. <3

Carolyn Hennesy on WhoSay

day two: best general hospital scene

just day two of my idol making general hospital stellar.

picture challenge: day three.

day three: a picture of the cast of your favorite show

general hospital

the actors of this show are so very talented and are amazing people and I've been privileged to meet the ones who have touched my life in the greatest way.

actors: carolyn<3, megan, derk, adrienne and scott

I've also met some fabulous people because of this show and I'll always be grateful for that.

best general hospital scene in ages

you know, just emmy nominated actress doing her thing on general hospital.

daily challenges

daily challenge for august 11 2011

Carolyn Hennesy on WhoSay

So she's pretty much my inspiration and my idol<3 She's my hero and over the almost five years I've known her, she's become a friend and I will cherish that for the rest of my life. She does these daily challenges every day and lately she's been posting them as video so I'm going to start putting them on my blog. I know for me whenever I'm having a bad day, I can look at these and think "I need to have this attitude and do good for someone else"

day two picture challenge

day two: a picture of you and someone you've been closest with the longest.

Nan.

She's raised me and means everything to me. I am so thankful for all that she has done for me.

100 day picture challenge.

Day 1: a picture of yourself and 10 facts.

1. The picture above is with my biggest inspiration Carolyn Hennesy. I've known her for almost five years and she truly is my biggest inspiration. Over the last year, I've learned so much from her. I was anxious for this year for a lot of reasons but it was also earth shattering for me as well because I learned a lot about the people I thought I knew. They aren't people I want in my life and they aren't people I'd ever want to consider friends. The small mindedness of them was a true eye opener for me and I learned that because of Carolyn. I am blessed every single day because she started off as my idol five years ago but today she has become a dear friend that I will cherish for my entire life.

2. I'm currently studying pre-law at school, getting my b.a in government and also my certification in paralegal studies.

3. Drinking. This is a loaded topic for me. My mom has battled with alcoholism for the majority of her life and is seven years sober now. And my idol has just reached her 11th year sober as well, that is amazing to me and it just makes me admire her more. I have friends who drink and that's their choice and I accept that but when someone patronizes others for drinking yet goes ahead, gets drunk themselves, I find that to be hypocritical.

4. Two of my best friends live miles and miles away but they are crucial in my life. I know if I ever need anything, or if I just need to talk, all I have to do is pick up the phone and call. Sometimes we use the term best friend too loosely, I know I did. I thought there was someone in my life I could consider my best friend but I learned something: she is nothing like me and I never want to be anything like her.

5. I struggle with my religion every single day. I was raised by my grandparents in going to church as Christian. It's hard to believe that things happen for a reason especially when life gets in the way and it feels like everything is going wrong. I struggle knowing what I have been raised as but also trying to find my own way. Scott Reeves is one of my biggest inspirations as well. He is an actor on General Hospital and a fabulous musician but he also is very dedicated to his faith. He's on twitter and whenever he posts a positive message (especially when I'm doubting my own faith) it makes me take a step back and just be thankful for the world around me.

6. California is one of my favorite places in the entire world. The weather is beautiful and the ocean is breathtaking. And I've seen my hero there so many times. I just love going there and taking in how beautiful it is.

7. "your support will be a lightening rod for some" I didn't truly understand when this was said to me a few weeks but now I do. Over the years, some people I thought who were truly good friends turned out not to be and I know my life is much better without them in it. Sometimes the things that hurt our hearts the most turn to be for the best.

8. My favorite shows include: general hospital, drop dead diva, glee and in plain sight.

9. Dot Marie Jones has become one of my other idols. I first started watching her on Glee but some of her experiences were so very similar to mine. Also she worked in a juvenile correctional facility, that is amazing. I've learned so much from her.

10. I'd love to visit Seattle someday. Something about that place just makes me want to visit.