ellen about bullying.

I just watched a clip from today's show of Ellen. She had on two parents, whose child killed himself because of being bullied. He had aspergers. It's a less intense form of autism and basically means these kids are socially awkward but are intellectually smart. My cousin has aspergers too. She is so smart but she gets uncomfortable with people she doesn't know. I just want to hug all these kids who are being bullied.

High school is said to be the best years of your life. But for some people they are the worst. If you're not pretty, "normal," and everything else people expect you to be then you are picked on. And now it's starting even younger. These kids have bright futures ahead of them. They have a destinty to be something beautiful and wonderful in the world. And these kids feel so alone. It breaks my heart.

It does get better. One day, you're going to be far away from that high school and all those bullies. And your life is going to be great. And suicide is never the answer. never. There are people who love you so very much.

High school was terrible. I hated it. I never thought of suicide but there were days I'd come home, crying. I would just lay in bed and cry. And I couldn't even picture graduating and getting away from all the people who would say nasty things to me. But that is behind me. Now I am in love with my life, the people in my life. I had people who loved me, who inspired me and they made me realize that everything was going to be okay.

And with social media now, bullying is even more accessible. People I no longer speak with still say mean things about me. I'd be lying if I said it didn't hurt, it does. People don't like me because of who I am and that's okay. But I know I'm much better than all the mean things people say.

I just want to hug all those kids who are made fun of because they're not what society expects them to be. They are perfect and special and that is all that matters.

randomness and happiness

One little change has the ability to affect our lives so greatly, make us happier, and I didn't even realize that until recently. Just a semester ago, I found myself miserable with school, not grade wise, just content wise. My grades were where I wanted them but being at that university was just a miserable experience. And sure, living on campus that first year was great.

But now, I found myself smiling when I wake up. Believe me, my life isn't easy. My course load is difficult and there is so much reading even this soon in the semester but that isn't bothering me. It's helping me become a better student, opening my horizons. And I have so many credits to fulfill in the next two years since I'm a double major, Early Education and English and going through the licensure program. So there's a lot to do but I'm enjoying it. And I'm going to need to take winter courses during winter break later this year but all of that is okay with me because I feel blessed. I am at a school where I genuinely feel happy. It's been a while since I felt complete with my life as a whole. And sure, stressful times will come. But when you have the privilege to feel happy with you life, you take those stressful times with stride because it will pass.

It took me a little while to get to a place where I truly feel happy with my life, with myself and the people around me.

happy with my life

it's been awhile since I wrote anything but.....

I am so happy. It's been awhile since I felt content with everything going on in my life let alone happy. Sure, there are some days where I'm frustrated because I'm having a bad day but overall, I find myself smiling and happy.

tomorrow starts classes and I couldn't be happier. I have two classes with my best friend<3 she's been my best friend since high school and we are inseperable. she's the reason I survived high school. a lot of people say that you lose touch with your high school friends but we haven't.

and over break, I have been getting over my biggest fear. driving. some people laugh but a few years ago, I was in an accident with my grandparents and I've had bad anxiety in cars ever since. so over break I got my permit and have been driving and I PARALLELED PARKED PERFECTLY. I know this isn't a big deal to some but it is to me and made me so happy.

Oh and on Wednesday, RHeart Radio did a segment to my hero and she called in and I got to talk to her. Can we not? It was so special for me. She's so special to me always<3

I just find myself so happy, smiling and just thankful for my life. I couldn't be happier.