Update of sorts

Things have been kinda crazy lately. More like a hot emotional wreck but that's neither here nor there. To keep things simple, I finally let go of someone who was a "dear" friend. I made the realization that she wasn't and was no longer worth my energy.

Back in July, I went to Alex's comedy skit thing and she had amazing readers. Alex herself is amazing; that GIRL is the definition of funny. But anyway, one of the readers...I follow her on facebook and today she friended me. I didn't get to talk to her after the show because she didn't stay long so I messaged her and told her how AMAZING she was and she knew I was there and wanted to talk to him. Like who wants to talk to me? I was kinda struck by that. With all the drama going on as of late, with people in and out of my life, it's just really cool to know that the majority of people like me.

Anyway, I'm down about 10 pounds since July. It's a work in progress. I just don't have much time to be lazy. I go to school full time and also work 40 hours a week so even though I'm not hitting the gym X amount of times per week, I feel like I'm active enough and making better food choices.

SO YAY.

Until next time.

Angry, upset but most of all hurt.

You know those moments when you don't know to feel? You're angry but also hurting. The last week has been a whirlwind of happiness yet it has faded to being hurt.

I'm the type of person who doesn't expect a lot- once we're friends, that's it. I will go above and beyond for you, there's no ifs, ands or buts about it. The thing is, it takes a lot for someone to have a space in my heart. I don't trust easily but when I do, that's it.

And when I'm upset, I expect that person to CARE, to sympathize or something. It doesn't take a lot to make me upset but when I am, all I ask is that you get it. And you don't brush it off like nothing has happened.

And I don't want you to dismiss our friendship- I have done a lot for you and you for me and that just doesn't vanish. I expect you to put in SOME effort or some caring.

My heart is hurting and I feel like this ALWAYS happens to me. Maybe because when I care, I care too much. There isn't anything I wouldn't do for the people I care about. And for once, for once in my life, I wish that was returned.

LA Continued and Other....

Okay, so LA was AMAZING. I can't even begin to put into words. I think Sunday was probably my favorite day...well, second favorite day after Thursday.

On Sunday, Carolyn invited me to the studio for Animal Magnetism. I LOVE the show SO much and she's doing such a wonderful thing and I was completely honored. I got to meet the fab Tony Sweet who helps a lot with UBN Radio shows. Andrea, who I met before, and who is a total doll along with Camille and of course my favorite Carolyn.

After the show we took this picture. I am THE least photogenic person on any PLANT but I LOVE this picture. I was SO happy and I actually look halfway decent.

Then after the show, we all went to lunch. It honestly felt like being around old friends which is super weird because I only met Camille for the first time and Andrea, this is only the third time I've been in her company. 

The only unfortunate part of the WHOLE trip was that I didn't get to see Alex. She's one of the funniest yet genuine people on this WHOLE planet. I love that gal so much. But I left an early b-day gift with Carolyn for her and she was so happy and loved it so much so in turn, it made me super happy. 

Now that I've wrapped up LA recap, let's be serious. 

A year ago, I wasn't in a good place at all. I thought I had found a good job but I was working so much, they didn't pay that great but I was pretty down at the time. I took a semester off because of work and because I just wasn't ready to go back and in all honesty, I didn't think I could manage it. 

Fast forward to this year- I started a new job in June and I'm HAPPY. I work 40 hour weeks and for some people that might not be anything but for me it's a lot because I am going to school everyday. MWF I go from 9-1 then work 2-10. And on TTH, I have a class 8-9:15 and then do homework/study until 1 where I leave for work. A year ago, I wouldn't have been able to handle it. And I'm not saying what I do is easy because it's not. It's a lot of time management- on my break at work, I read material for class and on the train ride home at night, I also read for the next class. 

I'm just in a good space right now and things feel really great. 

September 4-8

I'm probably going to cry as I write this but I'm going to try not to. This has been the most wonderful couple of days. Wednesday night was so much fun: crazy but fun. I got to meet Alanna Powell who is the founder of Boldly Me: google them. They do amazing work and I love reading their daily aspirations on facebook. And then there's Carolyn. I got the biggest hug from her. If that was the only thing I did this trip, it was worth it. Whenever I'm in her presence, I just feel so much love. There aren't enough words to really explain it but it's a sort of feeling knowing that another person appreciates you for who you are and what you do.

Then the next day we had lunch. Granted I was super late because of LA traffic and I felt SO bad but it was THE best two hours ever. We laughed so much and again, my heart is just so thankful.

In October, it'll be five years since I met Carolyn. Knowing her has changed me completely. She has taught me so much about myself.

For anyone who knows the song from Wicked "For Good", it kind of makes me think of all of this. "Because I knew you, I have been changed for good."

The photo below is from Bingo night on Wednesday. Someone at our table snapped it and it's just kinda perfect.

Blessed.

I meant to start writing this the other day but never had the chance. But I'm glad because there's so much more to say now.

I've been waiting for September because I'd be going to LA for a few days. The night before leaving, I was working and one of the girls was so upset. Her mother lives in another country and my co-worker is unable to travel. The whole situation is so sad. It made me think: my mom only lives 30 minutes away and I can see her practically whenever. This all just opened my eyes that  I have to be more appreciative in my daily life.

Yesterday I got to LA and it was wonderful. And today....there are no words for today. I could just cry thinking about it. I am just incredibly lucky for the things I have in my life and the people. I can say proudly that I am content with my life and today...I am joyously happy.

9.5.13