Okay so I'm the worst at maintaining this thing but as I sat in traffic on my way home tonight, I had some thoughts and what better place to share them then here. So here it goes.
I've alway been the type of person who wants to plan for things, not like life events or things of that nature. I want to know what's coming. I don't like to be blind sided by things. I don't know how to really explain this that makes sense. I just mean I like to have some idea of things, if that makes sense, even though it probably doesn't. There's some saying about plan for the best, expect the worst or the other way around. I probably just butchered that completely. But even so, that's kind of what I try to do. I like to at least prepare myself for the bad things because when you're unprepared for those things, it throws you for a loop and it's just a terrible feeling. But I've been trying in most aspects of my life just to be in the moment which is super hard for me. I think it's a difficult thing in general. It's just hard to take things moment by moment as they happen. It's rather difficult for me to just stay in the moment between work, school and a handful of other things.
School especially. I don't really know where I'm going. I jokingly tell people I'm over it but most of the time I truly do enjoy it. It's just hard for me to be in the moment when I'm thinking about how many semesters I have left. It makes me anxious knowing that all the classes I need to take aren't offered all the time. I'm attempting to be better about not being so anxious about that.
It's funny...work is the thing I'm taking day by day. I really do enjoy it. The other employees are so much nicer. The days are long, ten hour days and my body has had to get used to being up so early but I don't mind it. The property I'm working at is mostly a business hotel and there are a handful of business travelers that come every week and I've gotten to know them and that's just so cool.
I've always been the person who doesn't say much. I've gotten better about that. People can attest to the fact that sometimes I continuously go on about things and they probably wish I'd shut up. I've always been that person who just thinks, internalizes things and just keeps my thoughts up in this head of mine. Depending on who people are, I tend to talk a lot and they're probably like "oh my gosh, will she please shut up?'
As it comes to the end of the year, I think about all the events that have happened throughout the course of the year. Everything from school, work, friendship, people I've met...honestly just a whole range of different things. I've lost some friends, gained some back and there are people who are not meant to be in our lives. This year has been so eye opening. But in the same respect, my eyes are always very open. I'm aware, probably more so than most people. Most of my peers have these blinders on and they're wrapped up in their own world. There are people you hope will be part of your life for a long time but the truth is, they won't be. There were friends I respected, admired them and I appreciated the place they had in my life but for whatever reason, it didn't pan out. The more I think about, there's some saying about how each person we meet is meant to teach us something. Either they are a lesson of what we don't want to ever become or they teach us something wonderful about ourselves or they just enhance our life simply by being in it. That's how I feel. I feel two different ways 1. some people they come into our lives to teach us and make us aware that we never want to be like that. They make us aware that we would never want to disregard others' feelings like they have done to us or whatever the case may be. Then 2. It has something to do with being in the moment and not allowing yourself to get wrapped in the what if's. Not worrying about what is going to happen a week, a month or even a year from now. It's a work in progress for me since I don't have those blinders on and I'm more aware and I want to prepare myself as much as possible for anything and everything.
But I've also realized something else. We will meet some people, some amazing and special people. I know I have. Those types of people are rare. And if you happen to meet people like that, you should consider yourself truly lucky. Because I do. And even if those friendships or those people are no longer in your life at some point down the road, you will look back and have this feeling of 'I'm glad he or she was in my life even if it was for a short amount of time'. Because they taught you something about yourself, they taught you about who you are, who you can be if given the chance. I've met very few people like that. The number of people who fall into this category for me I could probably count on one hand. I know for me, these special people, are something so rare. And honestly by knowing such good, special and rare people, my life has been changed for the better. As lame as this is going to sound, those are the types of people who make you a better person simply by knowing them.
And on a completely different note, Christmas Eve is basically like a week away and I'm so excited because it's one of my favorite days of the year so there's that :)
I also love giving presents WAY more than I do receiving them. Don't get me wrong, receiving presents is really nice but I just like giving stuff to people that they'll actually like/enjoy.
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